Being me....

What I recall most about my life is that I always wanted to be someone else. I wanted to look like someone other than myself, have a body like my sister and have a skin that is free of blemishes....I felt like I needed to be someone else other than myself to be something in life. When I used to look in the mirror of would do so only to check if I don't have boogers in my nose 😅 simply because I couldn't stand my reflection. And it's a weight that I carried for so long that even when someone says something nice to me, I'd be like "yeah right, I know you not talking to me".

And this is something that is very heavy to carry not only for me but for everyone who has been through this same thing. It's so heavy to a point whereby it doesn't jut affect me, but even those around me carried the burden of the hatred I had for myself because I wasn't living up to the standard that world has set. And constantly I would ask myself what is it that I need for people to acknowledge that I am a woman who has so much to contribute to the world? It happened that I started my relationship with Christ, and still the burden of self hatred was still on my shoulders, and of course no one said it would be easy, but you know what, Christ is committed to making the relationship work as long as I'm committed. He is committed to work with those insecurities and issues that I have with myself and bring out something that is so beautiful and unique about me, which is called purpose.  He makes me understand that what I saw in myself is not what He planted in me, that what He has given me is so much more than what meets the eye. He makes me understand that it's not what's on the outside but what's is inside of me that matters. He shows me that taking care of the vessel that is aiding me in fulfilling His destiny for me is worth being taken care of no matter what it has suffered.

I'm still learning to love what I see in the mirror, and some days are better than others, and I'm still learning that my mind is the most important tool that God gave me to change and make better whatever circumstances I see myself facing. I'm surely in the process of being transformed by the renewal of my mind through the Word of God. Transformation doesn't happen overnight, but if we're patient with the Master of the process, who calls us a good work even though we are not yet  complete, then we will eventually live that life which we are destined for.

Let's discover how God sees us and let's look at ourselves through the lense of God, which is His word

♡With love.....
Siyanelisa ♡